Are you really? When did you know? How do you know for sure?
How do you really know your straight? If you stop thinking of me as being some other species or something, you may just realize my love is really no different than yours. In fact, I always forget we’re “different” until we get bombarded with questions like this. I see our love as love, simple as that, nothing else matters. I never feel as though I’m different when I’m with her, she’s my everything. I truly don’t mean to snap at anyone, it’s just very frustrating not to be able to truly show you what I mean. I knew with certainty in the same way, and at the same time, that you knew were straight, you were sexual attracted to people of another gender.
2. So, have you ever tried to be with a guy? Do you like guys at all?
I can not tell you I am a gold star lesbian, meaning that I have been with a man before. I love guys they’re great and make amazing friends!! I just don’t want to have sex or be in an intimate relationship with them. The exact same as trying to force yourself to have sex with someone of the same sex to who you’re simply not attracted to! It’s this uneasy feeling as if something is just not right. Put yourself in my shoes when you ask this question, well with any of these questions, because it’s no more a choice for me than it is for you. I am the way I am somehow, the same as you. I can promise you I’m not as different as you may think.
3. So which one of you is the guy?
This question hurts. When you ask me this question, I will generally spin it back on you, because nowadays most hetero couples don’t even fall into heteronormative roles this question is based on. You know the thought that a man and woman must do this, this, and this respectively, basically roles for both genders are set in stone. But some men cook and clean, and some women work and pay bills. Some men like being strapped by their girlfriends and some women like being on top, is this anyone’s business in the dam first place, Fuck no! Would you really look at your straight friends and automatically picture their sex life, as if they are nothing but sex objects? I really hope your answer to this is no because people are so much more than their sex life!
4. Can I watch? Maybe even join?
No! Just NO!! There are a ton of unsatisfied straight women out there who may be willing to give this a try. I’m sorry that was horrible, but so is this question. Please show my relationship with the same respect as any other loving monogamous relationship. Thankfully we don’t get this question very many times anymore. Are you afraid of going to hell, I mean you don’t care about what God thinks?
5. Endless amounts of sex questions! Too many to even to post!!
At this stage in my life, I’m no longer interested in trying to explain my sex life to others. I really don’t know why I ever tried to in the beginning. At this point, if you’re not someone I’m having sex with, then it’s really none of your business. Why exactly do you need to be educated in lesbian sex, because even if you’re interested in having lesbian sex, that’s not something I can help you with, but instead whoever you plan on actually having sex with can help you there. There is no how-to guide as every single person, straight or otherwise, will experience sex the way they would like. Everyone is different, everyone has their own quirks and desires. My wife and I are not sex objects placed on this earth to educate heteros or any other type.
6. Now that your married, are you going to change your sex to be a guy?
A lot of people might find this to be an odd question and not one that is typically asked. I added this question because I was asked this by a close friend after sharing the news of how happy I was, how glad I was to be home, and how in awe I was to have recently been married. Short answer: The fuck?
7. How did you come out? How old were you?
I was 15 when I came out. This particular question deserves a post all of its own which is currently in the works. My coming out process was complicated and oftentimes dangerous. More on that to come.
8. Do you know your lifestyle is disgusting, against God, and you’re going to burn in hell for all eternity?
This is nothing but hate and ignorance. This is an issue close to my heart and all I will say is we have very different spiritual beliefs and I will NOT be having this conversation. This is the one question I refuse to go anywhere near!
Someone once told me, “You’re going to be fighting your whole life, your generation is the first with the right to marry, you’re paving the way for others behind you so it’s always going to be a fight. What you’re doing matters so much, stay strong!”